Saturday 14 January
35 days sober
RR 95%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
………
Remember for today:
Giving the world 5 free passes in advance to be wrong.
Feelings inventory as I go
………
Glad it’s the weekend. Nothing majorly bad happened at work over the last few days but there were just a few unsettling things going on. Going to get some good cardio exercise in today, and do some weights. Very pleased to make it 5 weeks sober! RR I think isn't perfect at this very moment to need to keep going all out at the recovery work and meetings everyday if possible.

Tune of the day: Switchfoot – This is Home

Friday 13 January
34 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me the serenit to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
…………
Remember for today:
Giving the world 5 free passes in advance to be wrong
Feelings inventory as I go
…………
Friday today, found tasks at work a bit tedious yesterday but have had some good interactions with people at work this week. Do need to think more about what I say though. I am making progress but I made a joke yesterday that was well intended but I need to think about how it sounds to the person hearing it as it may have sounded more harsh than I would have liked. Going to another 12 step meeting tonight (5th one since Monday!).

Thursday 12 January
33 days sober
RR 100%

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
……………
God, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted.
Seek to understand, rather than to be understood.
Seek to love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
…………………

God, give me the power to quieten and calm my mind so that I can hear your will. Please direct my decision making at all times, because my previous game plan for living that I came up with myself has produced disastrous results in terms of my happiness and peace of mind. I want you to do my thinking for me, I do not want to analyse decisions in life any more using my own intellect and thinking.

I offer my work and effort to carry out your directions but please allow my mind to hear your broadcasting beacon which I know is in my soul, which I will always be able to hear if I can only quieten the static and noise of my own ruminations.
…………………
Remember for today:
Giving the world 5 free passes to be wrong in advance today.
As you go feelings inventory/awareness.
……………………

Well having something of an OCD thought rush this morning. Overall I think the programme is starting to reduce my OCD anxiety levels though. Got to 2 meetings yesterday which I think did boost my resolve to stay sober. I probably ended up going to bed later than I would have liked but main thing is I stayed sober. Also did some very useful tasks around the house.

Wednesday 11 January
32 days sober
RR 90%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
………
God, make me an instrument of thy peace!
That where there is hatred, I may bring love.
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.
That where there is error, I may bring truth.
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.
That where there is despair, I may bring hope.
That where there are shadows, I may bring light.
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted.
Seek to understand, rather than to be understood.
Seek to love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
…………

God, give me the power to quieten and calm my mind so that I can hear your will. Please direct my decision making at all times, because my previous game plan for living that I came up with myself has produced disastrous results in terms of my happiness and peace of mind. I want you to do my thinking for me, I do not want to analyse decisions in life any more using my own intellect and thinking.

I offer my work and effort to carry out your directions but please allow my mind to hear your broadcasting beacon which I know is in my soul, which I will always be able to hear if I can only quieten the static and noise of my own ruminations.

……………
Remember for today:
Giving the world 5 free passes to be wrong in advance today.
As you go feelings inventory/awareness.
……………

Forgot to set an alarm today and for 5-10 minutes lying snoozing in bed after I woke up I felt quite vulnerable. Dreams can put me into quite a triggered state. My resolve to stay sober will hopefully naturally go back up to 100% over the course of the day but I want to do all I can as well so I am going to two 12 step meetings today. I also engaged in a small amount of gossip at work yesterday. It was nothing really bad but someone asked me something about someone who wasn’t present and I just didn’t think for long enough before responding and could have made a nicer response. My rule in recovery is when you are going to say something about someone else, imagine they are standing right next to you listening before you say it.

Tuesday 10 January
31 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
……
Remember for today:
Giving the world 5 free passes to be wrong in advance today.
As you go feelings inventory/awareness.
……
Woke up to some “spinning thoughts” so good to get to this blog. Couple of minor irritations yesterday combined with the fact that I could have used more sleep over the previous few days put me in something of an irritable mood. Got a longer sleep last night though so bring on today! Going to a 12 step meeting later which I’m really looking forward to.